“I’m not prejudiced. I have (black, queer, Latino, gay, disabled…insert word here) friends.” Throughout my life, I have never considered myself to be racist, or a bigot. I’ve tirelessly verbalized my belief for equal treatment. At this point, in my 50’s, I have two gay sons, one gay nephew, a black brother-in-law (which also brought black nieces, nephews, grand-nieces, etc.), and Puerto Rican boyfriend. For crying out loud, no one is more diverse than I am! I have a pink triangle on the door of my office letting everyone know it’s a “safe” zone, so in actuality, I could not be racist…or could I?
As I complete my first 30 credits as an undergraduate, I am attempting to fulfill all my “required” courses. My initial plan, to major in Criminal Justice and/or Political Science, led me to take “Nature of Politics” in the fall. During that class, I was forced to think about my various views on life – or existence. Wanting to finish up my requirements, I needed social science and diversity courses. I opted to take “Introduction to Latino Studies.” Being in a relationship with a Latino man (and by default, a Latino family), I felt it would be interesting to learn more about his culture, while at the same time, completing a requirement and learning some history. From the moment I stepped into the classroom, it became apparent that, despite my protestations, I absolutely did carry some pre-conceived notions about those who were different from me. These notions were shattered as I began to learn more about the reasons various Latino immigrants had chosen to come to America, the difficulties they faced in getting here, and the unwelcome (and often resentful) response they received upon arriving. Learning about people who emigrated from Mexico, Cuba, Puerto Rico, the Dominican Republic, etc., I found myself with a new and uncomfortable understanding of the difficulties that face cultures different from my own.
During this class, I was required to give a presentation on one of the readings. I chose a reading by Dr. Carlos Decena, which consisted of an excerpt from his book, regarding Dominican men who were HIV positive. I found the article fascinating, and my presentation earned me an “A.” The next day, I found out that Dr. Decena is a professor at Rutgers, and I immediately emailed him to tell him how much I’d liked his article, and I asked him what courses he taught. I had found the Intro to Latino Studies class fascinating, and I was beginning to think I may want to pursue it as a major or minor.
Dr. Decena emailed me back immediately to tell me he’d be teaching Women, Culture, and Society this summer. Since this fulfilled a diversity requirement, and since I recently came to the realization that I would have to take summer classes in order to graduate in a timely manner, I decided to take Dr. Decena’s course. Once again, my cage was rattled, as the first question asked of the class was “Are you a feminist? And why or why not?”
In trying to grapple with this very difficult question, I once again found myself deep in thought about social issues that I thought I understood. Sexism, racism, ageism, all were discussed in the class, and each day, the questions and discussions asked forced us to rethink our very comfortable positions in life.
Between the Intro to Latino Studies and Women, Culture, and Society classes, I came to terms with my pre-conceived notions of what people were – and how they should behave. The classes have taught me not to take anything for granted, and not to ascribe to stereotypes involving gender, race, or other traits. While I believed, in my heart, that I was a non-discriminating and unbiased person, it became apparent that I had ideas and thoughts that were not only unfair, but, in many cases, incorrect.
I have found this “late in life” education to have had a profound impact on my personal interactions. I am more open with people that are different than I am, and I am more sensitive to the personal struggles they have had to endure to reach their places in life. When interacting with my boyfriend, my brother-in-law, or other people that society considers different from me, I am more likely to understand some of the differences in behavior, and more likely to appreciate a different culture. I am more careful about making (even silently) global statements about a particular faction of society, as I’ve come to realize that not only are most of them not true, many are based in a fear of the unknown. Not only am I being more careful about what I say, but I’m also more apt to comment to someone else’s acceptance of a stereotype…thereby attempting to put a damper on a discriminating remark. While I’ve always done this where my personal life was affected, I am now attempting to do it for everyone. In other words, I am trying to no longer participate in “active” racism.
In addition to the self-thought and the impact on my life that these courses have given me, they have also stirred in me a motivation to examine them further...even to the point of looking for a major that will combine my newfound understanding with my personal desire for social justice.
I chose this situation, above all others, because it had a significant impact on my life. At this stage in life, I felt that my desire for a college diploma was not motivated, necessarily, by trying to bring anything more into the world. Knowing I would be at an advanced age by the time I graduated, I had accepted that it was a personal challenge to get the diploma, and I was looking for majors and/or subjects that were interesting to me, as opposed to those that would help me achieve anything on a professional level. These past two semesters have changed that. I am now highly motivated to find a path that allows me to pursue my desire of a college education AND allow me to work in some way toward social justice – whether it be at the University, in my town, or in the world.
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